Birthmothers who want to contact a family are likely to be up to date on technology, so you need to be also.

Your online profile needs to include a visible and easy to use e-mail link, and your dedicated phone number should be one which receives text messages. You do not know how or when a birth mother may contact you.

Certainly, contact in this way is less threatening for her than placing a cold phone call, although that may certainly happen.

In the same manner in which you must prepare yourself to answer a phone call, you should know what you intend to say in response to an e-mail or a text message. Your response will have to be short but it must maintain her interest in you. Thank her and let her know how very important it is to you to get to know her and her situation and how very interested you are in her decision to place her child.  Let her know that you care.  If she asks questions, give her short accurate answers.  She will know if you are avoiding the answer.  She wants honesty and she wants information.  You must give it to her in order to keep the conversation going.

If you have the opportunity, let her know why you want to adopt.  This might not be the first thing you say, but at some point in the conversation, she will be looking to empathize with you about your inability to have children of your own, or whatever your situation may be.